You used to be commanding, a force to be reckoned with. You had a team of staff who answered to you. You looked the part; your wardrobe full of chic work clothes and shoes always adhering to the latest catwalk trends! You could juggle a morning latte, the day’s agenda, and your team’s needs, clearing your inbox by 9:00 am!
Fast forward 9 months…your little bundle of joy has arrived and you can’t seem to get dressed before 2 pm! The house is a mess, the baby is crying, your hair hasn’t been coloured in weeks, and you look the part; this time a frazzled mum who finds it hard to get out of the house! Where has your confidence gone and why is having a baby so hard?
Don’t beat yourself up! Even the most competent, successful women struggle with the change to their life once they’ve had a baby. There is the change in your relationship, the relentless nature of your daily routine and having this precious bundle to look after with the worry that you are doing it all right.
At Nurturing Mums, we offer the following advice to boost your confidence and get yourself back on track:
1) Pick one thing to do every day, and do it well. If it is meeting a friend, cleaning the house, sorting out the clothes, it doesn’t have to be a huge, life-altering event; but giving yourself a sense of accomplishment will make you feel proficient in your new job.
2) Stop reading so many books and surfing the net! Too much advice will confuse you…rely on your instincts as a mum and definitely get help if needed.
3) Get your hair done or have a manicure or massage – there are many therapists who will come to your house (we use the fabulous Spabycar at our sessions) to make you feel like a new woman.
4) Wear clothes that flatter! Even if you have to go out and buy a few new items in your temporary post-pregnancy size, it is certainly better than wearing maternity clothes. Scarves, earrings, or a new bag are all fabulous accessories that can rejuvenate you into feeling better about your image.
5) Join a postnatal group where you can meet other mums experiencing the ups and downs of new motherhood along with you. It helps if you know that a friend is having sleepless nights or a baby refusing food or a husband who you feel is doing everything wrong!
6) Last of all, enjoy your time off with your baby and keep reminding yourself that you are a superstar. You’ve carried your baby for nine months, delivered him / her, created a new family and are doing a great job!
About the Authors
Elise and Gemma, the founders of Nurturing Mums, are two north London mums who aim to bring new mummies together with their unique postnatal courses.